Tuesday, March 21, 2017

The Day I Was Slapped - Guest Post by Akhil Mittal

Okay, I don't want to boast but I was a pretty good student during my school days (let's not include IIT for the moment), I had a spotless track record (except maybe breaking the black-board once, no sorry twice), was never severely punished and was good at studies as well. But all this did not stop me from getting slapped.

I was in tenth standard. We had our weekly mathematics exam and I managed to do pretty well. But during the after exam discussion, the correctness of one of my answers was doubted by my friend. So I and my friend decided to consult our math’s teacher Rita Ma'am.

By the way, we never try this kind of foolhardiness at IIT, as a matter of principle we never discuss answers after the exams and not even in our wildest dreams go to a Prof to get our doubts cleared. This is so as all this greatly diminishes our hopes of getting decent marks and with it our will to sit for other exams. But we were kids then and decided to give it a shot.

We managed to find Rita Ma'am, dispel our doubts and start our journey back to the classroom without any hassles (and in case you are wondering then my answer was right). On our way back we met Mohan Sir. Now a little introduction is necessary here. Mohan Sir is one person who had single-handedly managed to terrorize the whole school. There were strong rumors that he was an ardent supporter of Nazism, capital punishment and more relevant to us was notorious for having uncontrollable urge to slap students.

Upon setting his eyes on his preys, Mohan Sir asked "Why are you roaming in the corridors?". One look at my friend was enough to gauge his resolve not to open his mouth, so Sir fixed his gaze entirely on me. I timidly answered "We had gone to meet Rita Ma'am". "Rita Ma'am? But she is right here", he said pointing to nearby class, where to the best of my knowledge Sita Ma'am was teaching (Rita, Mohan and Sita, fine I admit I am cooking up names here but for no particular reason, I prefer not to use real names).

Anyways, what can you say to a madman who is adamant about calling Sita as Rita, so all I could manage was "Oh is she Rita Ma'am? I meant the other Rita Ma'am, we just met her in the staff room". He looked lost for words but apparently I was wrong as he quickly asked "What does your father do?". "Ah" I thought "What a relevant question to the whole damn situation" but I quenched his thirst for knowledge with "He is a C.A. sir". He was quick to pose his next one "Did your father tell you to walk like this in school". Hmm... this required some pondering. I was pretty sure my dad along with my mom helped me to take my first steps, but we never had man to man talk about my style of walking, so I chose not to answer this one.

Then it came, right across my face..smack! His slap did make a hell of a noise and it sure was painful.

He then turned his attention to my still mute friend. My dear friend was not as well built as I am (you people might have guessed till now that modesty is not one of my virtues), but seriously, this guy was frail and right now he was shaking like a leaf. Mohan Sir looked from him to me. He seemed to ask me "Will he be able to take my slap?". I seriously doubted and that is why hoped that he slaps him and slaps him hard. So that if he dies or even if the slap leaves a deep emotional and mental scar on him then we can drag Mohan Sir's bloody ass to the court. But maybe Sir was thinking along the same lines because he left him with a stern warning "Never repeat the mistake again". But what was his mistake - walking with a person with allegedly offensive style of walking?

Anyways we turned back to go to our classroom. On the way my friend finally spoke "I think you are his 100th victim". "Great" I replied acidly "maybe I can put that down in my resume". "Listen dude, you never argue with Mohan Sir, you did and got slapped" my talkative friend said. "Oh I see, but why are you revealing this well guarded secret so early, shouldn't you have waited for more appropriate time like next time when Mohan sir is all homicidal and tries to stab me?" I asked. "Hey, it not my fault" he said defensively. "Yeah you are right" I admitted "but they must warn us beforehand, in our primary classes as a part of disaster management, that arguing with Mohan Sir can be injurious to your health or atleast your cheeks".

Anyways rest of the day passed away without anything else as eventful and finally I reached home where atleast my parents were not over-critical about my style of walking. But if they would have been, then maybe I wouldn't have been slapped in the first place.

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